My Repertoire

It’s very interesting. When I look at the spankings real (childhood) and imagined, they were ALWAYS about punishment for real or created offences. With the internet came the realization that 1) I wasn’t the only one that liked spanking, 2) Spanking didn’t have to be only about punishment.

I have had one truly erotic spanking; I was blindfolded and all kinds of wonderful things were done to my body, including spanking starting gently, long and slow, gradually becoming more intense, harder, faster. I can’t remember the number of times I exploded in ecstasy.

Stress Relief: Now that’s one I haven’t had specifically, but could certainly use at the moment. I know that it works; I’ve had other spankings and discovered afterwards that all the stress had just melted away.

Playful: I’d made a smart aleck remark and the guy (vanilla) I was with chased me around, occasionally landing a stray smack, eventually falling, both giggling, on to the bed (which broke) to make lots of fun crazy love.

The problem is that I spent so many years making up punishment stories for fantasy purposes that I still have trouble dreaming up something else. Maybe I need to practice expanding my repertoire?

The first step...is to KNOW

I have a secret vice; I collect quotes. No criteria other than for some reason or the other, they just “grab” me. I store them on my computer, with the attribution (if known) along with the occupation and dates of birth and death (if available). They are in no order. Sometimes it’s somebody famous, sometimes it’s just something someone said that I overheard.

A couple of years ago, I was in Dallas for some (motivational type) training. I jotted down a few things on index cards which I found yesterday while looking for something else. Two in particular seemed apropos to where I am right now, both professionally and personally.

“The greatest thing is, at any moment, to be willing to give up who we are to become all that we can be.” Max dePree Businessman, Author

I really don’t have a problem with this. I have reinvented myself several times over the course of my life. Sometimes due to life changes: single to wife to single (twice), along with becoming mother and grandmother. I’ve switched career paths within my chosen profession, sometimes due to opportunity, once due to burnout, several times because funding for what I wanted to do went missing.

The biggest change for me, however, was when I finally realized that I had a kinky streak-I liked spanking-and there were other people out there with similar or complimentary interests. But herein is my current personal dilemma. I have been stuck in a bit of a rut recently. It’s time to do something different. Another quote that I’ve used a lot is, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you always get what you always got.” That’s not what I need right now.

And this leads to the quote that I overheard at that above mentioned training:
"The first step to getting what you want is to KNOW what you want!" (I don't know who said it.)

All I know is that I want something different. The problem is that I truly don’t know what it is that I want. I’m greedy. I just know that I want MORE! But I’m not even sure how that looks, what it feels like. I’m usually a pretty decisive individual who does know what she wants. I’m finding this pretty frustrating.

So instead of just a journal on the computer, I decided to try putting this where others can see and maybe give some feedback. I will post whenever the muse strikes without any promise of frequency.

You’re welcome to watch or comment on the journey.