On a number of blogs that I read, I see submissives/slaves referred to as whores and other derogatory terms by their doms/owners/Masters. (For the remainder of this post I will use the term Master to be all inclusive of these individuals.) I am having a lot of difficulty wrapping my head around this. The definition of a whore is a sexually promiscuous female who sells herself for money. If I am the exclusive "property" of a Master, then I am no longer in a position to "sell" my sexual services. Even if the Master chooses to have me engage with multiple sexual partners, because I am his, then I cannot be a whore because I am not selling myself. Any time a Master chooses to use seriously degrading, demeaning or disparaging names for his sub/slave, he is reflecting on himself and his own judgment in choosing what could be identified as poor "merchandise". And if the person is not sexually promiscuous, then many of the other calumnious names applied to the sub/slave do not really apply.
The most sadistic individual that I have ever met has never treated anyone (to the best of my knowledge) that he has beaten or otherwise "Mastered" with anything other than respect. Does that make me any less frightened to put myself in his hands? Absolutely not! But he recognizes that I have gifted him with the most precious thing I have to offer, myself. I've never asked him, but I suspect that he would feel that calling me an opprobrious name would detract from rather than enhance our relationship.
Don't get me wrong, there are times when "talking dirty" is a huge turn on. But calling me a "slut" does not primarily refer to what is occurring or what I behave like in a sexual context. Its primary meaning is slovenly and dirty. Maybe if I haven't bathed for a week or so.... At least referring to someone as a specific body part makes some sense.
The English language has an incredible number of words. If you want to put yourself down, Master, that's fine with me, I guess. But if you want to indicate my low status (if I were your sub/slave), then why not find a way to do it that doesn't reflect on yourself?
Or maybe there's something I'm just not understanding. I'm more than willing to listen to the explanation.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
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3 comments:
Long rant, poorly written and illogical, not applicable to what was posted removed. If you wish to read it, let me know and I'll forward it to you.
The short answer? It is verbal kink.
The ways to exchange power or to wield or to seek humiliation can take a thousand forms. I would argue the verbal and intellectual are every bit as important as anything corporeal.
The choice of words is quite intentional, specifically because of the emotionally explosive charge.
They don't have to be "true" any more than anyone was really a "good" girl or a "bad" boy, or really "deserves" punishment. It's all play in the end, and not at all reflective of quality or imagination.
Lastly? Violating dogma is delicious.
Actually, that really makes some sense to me. I guess that where I've seen it has been in Master/slave blogs-there are times when that doesn't come across much like play, so I missed the connection. Nice catch Soulful Sinner!
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